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Tuesday, 29 January 2008
Banjo Patterson, cowboy poet Down Under.
Topic: Fun

Clancy of the Overflow

I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
    Knowledge, sent to where I met him down the Lachlan, years ago,
He was shearing when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,
   Just on spec, addressed as follows, “Clancy, of The Overflow”.

And an answer came directed in a writing unexpected,
    (And I think the same was written with a thumb-nail dipped in tar)
’Twas his shearing mate who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
    “Clancy’s gone to Queensland droving, and we don’t know where he are.”

In my wild erratic fancy visions come to me of Clancy
    Gone a-droving “down the Cooper” where the Western drovers go;
As the stock are slowly stringing, Clancy rides behind them singing,
    For the drover’s life has pleasures that the townsfolk never know.

And the bush hath friends to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him
    In the murmur of the breezes and the river on its bars,
And he sees the vision splendid of the sunlit plains extended,
    And at night the wond’rous glory of the everlasting stars.

I am sitting in my dingy little office, where a stingy
    Ray of sunlight struggles feebly down between the houses tall,
And the foetid air and gritty of the dusty, dirty city
    Through the open window floating, spreads its foulness over all.

And in place of lowing cattle, I can hear the fiendish rattle
    Of the tramways and the buses making hurry down the street,
And the language uninviting of the gutter children fighting,
    Comes fitfully and faintly through the ceaseless tramp of feet.

And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me
    As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste,
With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,
    For townsfolk have no time to grow, they have no time to waste.

And I somehow rather fancy that I’d like to change with Clancy,
    Like to take a turn at droving where the seasons come and go,
While he faced the round eternal of the cash-book and the journal—
    But I doubt he’d suit the office, Clancy, of The Overflow.


Waltzing Matilda

Oh there once was a swagman camped in the Billabong,
    Under the shade of a Coolabah tree;
And he sang as he looked at his old billy boiling,
    “Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.”

Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda, my darling,
     Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?
Waltzing Matilda and leading a water-bag—
     Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?

Down came a jumbuck to drink at the water-hole,
    Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him in glee;
And he sang as he put him away in his tucker-bag,
    “You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me!”

Down came the Squatter a-riding his thorough-bred;
    Down came Policemen—one, two, and three.
“Whose is the jumbuck you’ve got in the tucker-bag?
    You’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me.”

But the swagman, he up and he jumped in the water-hole,
    Drowning himself by the Coolabah tree;
And his ghost may be heard as it sings in the Billabong,
    “Who’ll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?”


The Man From Snowy River

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around
    That the colt from old Regret had got away,
And had joined the wild bush horses — he was worth a thousand pound,
    So all the cracks had gathered to the fray.
All the tried and noted riders from the stations near and far
    Had mustered at the homestead overnight,
For the bushmen love hard riding where the wild bush horses are,
    And the stock-horse snuffs the battle with delight.

There was Harrison, who made his pile when Pardon won the cup,
    The old man with his hair as white as snow;
But few could ride beside him when his blood was fairly up—
    He would go wherever horse and man could go.
And Clancy of the Overflow came down to lend a hand,
    No better horseman ever held the reins;
For never horse could throw him while the saddle-girths would stand,
    He learnt to ride while droving on the plains.

And one was there, a stripling on a small and weedy beast,
    He was something like a racehorse undersized,
With a touch of Timor pony—three parts thoroughbred at least—
    And such as are by mountain horsemen prized.
He was hard and tough and wiry—just the sort that won’t say die—
    There was courage in his quick impatient tread;
And he bore the badge of gameness in his bright and fiery eye,
    And the proud and lofty carriage of his head.

But still so slight and weedy, one would doubt his power to stay,
    And the old man said, “That horse will never do
For a long and tiring gallop—lad, you’d better stop away,
    Those hills are far too rough for such as you.”
So he waited sad and wistful—only Clancy stood his friend —
    “I think we ought to let him come,” he said;
“I warrant he’ll be with us when he’s wanted at the end,
    For both his horse and he are mountain bred.

“He hails from Snowy River, up by Kosciusko’s side,
  Where the hills are twice as steep and twice as rough,
Where a horse’s hoofs strike firelight from the flint stones every stride,
    The man that holds his own is good enough.
And the Snowy River riders on the mountains make their home,
    Where the river runs those giant hills between;
I have seen full many horsemen since I first commenced to roam,
    But nowhere yet such horsemen have I seen.”

So he went — they found the horses by the big mimosa clump —
    They raced away towards the mountain’s brow,
And the old man gave his orders, ‘Boys, go at them from the jump,
    No use to try for fancy riding now.
And, Clancy, you must wheel them, try and wheel them to the right.
    Ride boldly, lad, and never fear the spills,
For never yet was rider that could keep the mob in sight,
    If once they gain the shelter of those hills.’

So Clancy rode to wheel them—he was racing on the wing
    Where the best and boldest riders take their place,
And he raced his stock-horse past them, and he made the ranges ring
    With the stockwhip, as he met them face to face.
Then they halted for a moment, while he swung the dreaded lash,
    But they saw their well-loved mountain full in view,
And they charged beneath the stockwhip with a sharp and sudden dash,
    And off into the mountain scrub they flew.

Then fast the horsemen followed, where the gorges deep and black
    Resounded to the thunder of their tread,
And the stockwhips woke the echoes, and they fiercely answered back
    From cliffs and crags that beetled overhead.
And upward, ever upward, the wild horses held their way,
    Where mountain ash and kurrajong grew wide;
And the old man muttered fiercely, “We may bid the mob good day,
    No man can hold them down the other side.”

When they reached the mountain’s summit, even Clancy took a pull,
    It well might make the boldest hold their breath,
The wild hop scrub grew thickly, and the hidden ground was full
    Of wombat holes, and any slip was death.
But the man from Snowy River let the pony have his head,
    And he swung his stockwhip round and gave a cheer,
And he raced him down the mountain like a torrent down its bed,
    While the others stood and watched in very fear.

He sent the flint stones flying, but the pony kept his feet,
    He cleared the fallen timber in his stride,
And the man from Snowy River never shifted in his seat—
    It was grand to see that mountain horseman ride.
Through the stringy barks and saplings, on the rough and broken ground,
    Down the hillside at a racing pace he went;
And he never drew the bridle till he landed safe and sound,
    At the bottom of that terrible descent.

He was right among the horses as they climbed the further hill,
    And the watchers on the mountain standing mute,
Saw him ply the stockwhip fiercely, he was right among them still,
    As he raced across the clearing in pursuit.
Then they lost him for a moment, where two mountain gullies met
    In the ranges, but a final glimpse reveals
On a dim and distant hillside the wild horses racing yet,
    With the man from Snowy River at their heels.

And he ran them single-handed till their sides were white with foam.
    He followed like a bloodhound on their track,
Till they halted cowed and beaten, then he turned their heads for home,
    And alone and unassisted brought them back.
But his hardy mountain pony he could scarcely raise a trot,
    He was blood from hip to shoulder from the spur;
But his pluck was still undaunted, and his courage fiery hot,
    For never yet was mountain horse a cur.

And down by Kosciusko, where the pine-clad ridges raise
    Their torn and rugged battlements on high,
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze
    At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,
And where around the Overflow the reedbeds sweep and sway
    To the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide,
The man from Snowy River is a household word to-day,
    And the stockmen tell the story of his ride.


Brief biography of Andrew Barton ‘Banjo’ Paterson, 1864-1941

 

 


Posted by conniechai at 9:22 PM PST
Updated: Tuesday, 29 January 2008 9:56 PM PST
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Saturday, 14 April 2007
Better than a grilled cheese sandwich
Topic: Fun

 Spotted on the west side of Azusa Blvd, in West Covina, between Vine and Merced streets.


Posted by conniechai at 8:20 PM PDT
Updated: Wednesday, 18 April 2007 9:15 PM PDT
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Monday, 12 February 2007
Baby Got Back - Gilbert & Sullivan styel
Topic: Fun
LOLZ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkJdEFf_Qg4

Posted by conniechai at 4:38 PM PST
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Wednesday, 17 January 2007
Smalltown Football vs. The Internet
Topic: Fun
In October of 2006, the town of Snohomish, WA made the news: A Junior ROTC student whose leg was blown open in a grisly accident when the traditional cannon used to blast off a football game exploded on him. Townspeople, with their Traditional Values, sent him heartwarming messages such as "Stay quiet about this or we'll break your other leg."

The story made the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, then the internet, then Fark.com.  After several months of internet ridicule, an arrest had been made and the town apparently is trying to clean up its tarnished reputation for being heartless hicks.

Farkers not only sent emails and phone calls to the town and the high school complaining about their poor treatment of the boy, but also had other kinds of fun while they were at it.

First, they went to the high school's football website (!?) and all voted, repeatedly, that they "will not be attending any games" in the on-line poll. At one point, a town that has about 8,000 residents had an on-line poll showing over 20,000 people will not attend any games.  I mean, according to the (now legitimate again, see below) wiki, the team last won a state championship in 1978, so a lot of my fellow Farkers didn't see why the town was so damn proud of the team to begin with.

And then Wikipedia got involved. Wikipedia, "the encyclopedia anyone can edit", enjoyed extensive free editing for the Snohomish Senior High School entry until an administrator wised to the Fark and locked the page down and cleaned it back up. While it was going on though, it was great times . No, really, it was bleedin' fantastic.  Compare the two wikis; I'm still laughing.  

Posted by conniechai at 8:36 PM PST
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Friday, 22 December 2006

Topic: Fun

"We will need to postpone the start of Christmas by at least two weeks due to changes made during the plan checking process. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. However, a proper design will ensure a successful project."

 

 


Posted by conniechai at 12:20 PM PST
Updated: Wednesday, 27 December 2006 12:35 PM PST
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Friday, 20 October 2006
I read this today in Fark... LOL'd
Topic: Fun

 



 

"Hey, look. A bunch of cows."
"Herd."
"What?"
"Not bunch. Herd."
"Heard what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Sure I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"I don't care if a cow heard, it's not like I'm keeping any secrets from cows."

 


Posted by conniechai at 12:37 PM PDT
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Saturday, 7 October 2006
Have a mobile staff meeting...
Topic: Fun
On the Conference Bike!

A tricycle pedalled by 7 people all facing each other, with one person steering.

Wait, what?

Posted by conniechai at 1:41 PM PDT
Updated: Sunday, 15 October 2006 2:12 PM PDT
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Thursday, 5 October 2006
An alarm clock that run away and hides when it goes off
Topic: Fun

I thought I can really use this, but I'm afraid that my husband will take a 9-iron to it after a couple of days of playing hide-n-seek with a freakin' alarm clock.


From the 2005 Ig Nobels:

Clocky® (patent pending) is an alarm clock that runs away and hides if you don't get out of bed on time. The alarm sounds, you press the snooze, and Clocky will roll off of the bedside table, jump to the floor, and wheel away, bumping mindlessly into objects until he finds a spot to rest. When the alarm sounds again, you must awaken to search for him.

Story:

It is just too easy to hit the snooze. Conventional alarm clocks work alright for people who don't have trouble getting out of bed. But for Gauri Nanda, a lifelong oversleeper who was routinely late for morning classes as a graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Media Lab, waking up would take some ingenuity.  

Clocky® began as one of Nanda's class projects, but a flood of media attention made the clock a star. Gauri has since started Nanda Nanda, a company devoted to making all sorts of products, including technologies that are fun to use and a better fit for human beings.

www.nandananda.com


Posted by conniechai at 12:01 AM PDT
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Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Birth Pangs
Topic: Fun
Correspondent for the Daily Show Aasif Mandvi presents: Forced Perspective
 
Aasif Mandvi reassures us not to worry about the screams during the birth pangs of Middle Eastern democracy. Watch>
(clicky pop video)

Posted by conniechai at 1:03 PM PDT
Updated: Sunday, 15 October 2006 1:08 PM PDT
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Thursday, 10 August 2006
Can this be a real police report?
Topic: Fun


Cops report  "flurry of chubby fists" in Toledo milk heist


AUGUST 9--Robbery is never funny. Except when it's described by Toledo police officers with a peculiar sense of humor. Early this morning, Scott Gibson, 44, was returning from the grocery store with a gallon of milk when, as he told cops, he was surrounded by "5 fat black girls" in the parking lot of a Kentucky Fried Chicken. As described by officers Patrick Sutherland and Kristi Eycke in the below Toledo Police Department incident report, one of the "hefty felons" asked Gibson to surrender his milk. Believing that he was being pranked, Gibson just laughed at the request. But, as cops reported, he realized it was no joke when the "rotund robbers" began "pelting him with a flurry of chubby fists." After the assailants tore the milk from his hands, they relieved Gibson of his Motorola cell phone. He was unable to provide a detailed description of the attackers, except to estimate that the women were in their twenties. Presumably the quintet slinked off into the night looking for some poor soul carrying a box of Devil Dogs. (2 pages in The Smoking Gun)

Posted by conniechai at 12:59 PM PDT
Updated: Sunday, 15 October 2006 1:03 PM PDT
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