The Bureaucracy Club of San Diego
Bureaucratic Literature and Review

Celebrate the literary traditions of bureaucracies everywhere!

Home | Bureaucratic Literature and Review | Bureaucracies in Other Countries | Our Purpose | Members Page | Becoming a Member | Links | Contact Us

Budget Haiku - A Quattro, by Connie Chai

The budget dollar -
A dancing ephemeral
Spinning away - Ah!
 
Accountants e-mail:
Wants me to add up numbers
There is nothing here.
 
These expenditures
Cannot be justified in
This object account.
 
Finite in money,
Infinite wants, to audit
Is to face down Death.

****************************************
Bureaucracy Haiku by Robin Pearce

The opinions and observations expressed here represent the opinions of the poet and do not necessarily represent the views of those who hold other opinions or have other observations.

These haikus are originally to be found on our parent organization's site, The Bureaucracy Club (see Links section).

Haiku A-901
Acronyms drop from
The lips of the consultants
Like cherry blossoms.

Haiku A-921
Afternoon meeting:
A PowerPoint slide show and
Au Bon Pain cookies.

Haiku A-946
A cell phone shrills and
Hands rummage through briefcases:
Who is it? Me? Me?

Haiku A-962
The speaker drones on.
We listen, but think of what?
Food. TV. Sex. Sex.

Haiku A-970
Symphony at six
When all the cube farm dwellers
Sync their Palm Pilots.

Haiku A-971
Critical error:
Team meeting at eight a.m.-
No bagels ordered.

'Cracy News
Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird
 

The Las Vegas Sun reported in January that the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services agency has begun phasing in an underpublicized policy of ending all walk-in traffic. Eventually, all immigration offices, to improve efficiency, will do business only by appointments made over the Internet (even though many immigration clients, most notably migrant workers, obviously do not have convenient Internet access). [Las Vegas Sun, 1-13-05]

After five years of the New Mexico government always accepting Viola Trevino's child support claims against Steve Barreras (over the vasectomied Barreras' objections), a court in Albuquerque finally ruled in December that the child never existed. The judge concluded that Trevino had lied numerous times and had forged DNA evidence, birth certificates, and other documents and that Barreras had been unjustly forced to pay $20,000 in support, even though Trevino had never publicly produced the child. In December, having run out of excuses, Trevino borrowed a little girl from a stranger on the street and took her into the courtroom to "be" her and Barreras' daughter (but the stranger followed Trevino inside and exposed the ruse). Gov. Bill Richardson ordered an investigation as to how so many state officials had been hoaxed for so long. [The New Mexican-AP, 12-13-04]

 
"I don't think I've done more than two days' work in three years," said the New York Liquor Authority's director of wholesale services, Patricia Freund, explaining to the New York Post in December that she is another example of how bureaucracies deal with "problem" workers who are hard to fire. Freund was exiled to an office with no work and no responsibilities (though continuing to draw her $82,000 salary), which she said was in retaliation for raising a stink about Gov. George Pataki's Christian prayer breakfasts and Jesus-laden mementoes, which she said was discriminatory toward Jewish employees, such as her. [New York Post, 12-28-04]